You might be wondering what it is you’re doing wrong that makes people dislike you. Indeed you can do things without being aware of their implications, consequences or impact on others. In this article, we share 10 habits that can cause people to dislike you.
1.Tuning Out:
People want to be heard, they want to know that you’re listening when they speak. They shouldn’t be left to wonder whether or not you’re listening to them. And listening is a vital part of communication, actually the most important.
Because it is in listening that you understand. This can be very frustrating, especially when your friends are in a really bad space and just need to talk to someone, but you’ve tuned out. Over time, your poor listening skills can damage your relationships.
2.24/7 Questions:
It’s okay to be curious, very okay actually. But don’t forget that it’s curiosity that killed the cat. You can’t be the only one talking. It should be mutual. A real connection is reciprocal. According to a 2020 study in the journal of Experimental Social Psychology where researchers discovered that reciprocal conversations form the strongest bonds.
A reciprocal conversation increases closeness, perceived similarities, and personal enjoyment. Ask questions, but give room for others to also ask. Let the conversation be inclusive, mutual, and not one sided.
3.Disguising Your Strengths:
showing off in a subtle way so others don’t think that you’re showing off is as bad as (if not worse than) outrightly showing off. It’s a big turn off and it annoys people. It’s also totally unnecessary.
4.Uncomfortable Secrets:
Secrets should naturally enhance bond, but sometimes, in some cases they push people away. Secrets can lose their power when they get too personal. Sharing sensitive topics quite early in a relationship can scare people away. Secrets to share early in relationships should be fun, warm, and happy. Not too personal.
5.Suppressing Emotions:
When you refuse to emote, people have a hard time understanding you. They’re not drawn to you because you don’t seem interested or approachable. Sometimes, it’s good to be vulnerable, show your susceptible sides, let people in, that way you build a stronger bond.
But if you try to suppress everything you feel, it pushes people away because they can’t predict you and don’t trust you. Express how you feel. Show people who you really are.
6.Constant Kindness:
According to a 2010 study from the journal of Personality and Social Psychology, people avoid people who are overly kind. The natural assumption when someone is too kind is that they’re being manipulative. So sometimes it’s okay to let your selfish side play out.
7.Excess Stress:
When you spend time with someone who’s stressed out, you become tense and anxious, because stress is contagious. Reduce how much you talk about your level of exhaustion as it can be really dampening to the other person. Try to sometimes relax before hanging out with people.
7.Excess Stress:
When you spend time with someone who’s stressed out, you become tense and anxious, because stress is contagious. Reduce how much you talk about your level of exhaustion as it can be really dampening to the other person. Try to sometimes relax before hanging out with people.
8.Hiding Your Affection:
Similar to point 5 (Suppressing your emotions), people do not like people who cannot own up to their feelings. If you enjoy hanging out with someone; could be your colleague or friend, let them know. If you think they have a great sense of humor, tell them.
9.Selfish Interjections:
No one likes to be rudely interrupted or have you talk over them. People like great conversationalists, and a great conversationalist is one who listens. Once people notice how you always want to be the one to talk and not let others talk, they begin to withdraw.
This habit is a big turn off. People also want to be heard. The ideal thing is to let them finish talking and making their points before you jump in.
10.Mistakes in Storytelling:
When telling a story, what details should you include? How do you tell it? How long should you talk? Before you know someone deeply, your stories should be short and sweet, not long and winding. People get bored easily and trapped in a conversation with too many details.