Love, as sweet as it feels, can also leave you very vulnerable and deeply hurt. A lot of people do not know how to differentiate love from lust, love from infatuation, love from just being wanted. Some can’t even recognise mixed signals when they see them.
We understand, it can be really hard, especially when you really like the person. Your judgement becomes clouded and you just take anything they give to you. Here in this article, we’ll be sharing six indicators that you were never in love.
1.You Moved Things Fast With Your Partner:
According to relationship expert, Susan Winter, “Infatuation lives in illusion. Love can survive reality.” While there’s no rule book to what timeframe or duration the friendship phase should last before metamorphosing into a relationship, infatuation thrives on speed, and love on the other hand takes time to develop.
Speed is good, and can sometimes make you feel the person really wants you. But when you jump into a relationship, you base it NOT on the person and who they really are and how compatible you both exactly are, but more on your current feelings and lifelong fantasies.
1.You Expect Them to be Flawless:
According to Susan Winter, “Infatuation needs perfection to survive.” You expect your partner to be a 100 all the time without giving room for shortcomings.
Love on the hand is rather accommodating. When you love someone, you accept their imperfections, and are willing to work through their flaws together.
2.You’re Not Comfortable Enough Around Them:
According to Vulnerability research expert Doctor Brennade Brown, those who have a strong sense of love and belonging are more open to vulnerability, whereas, those who feel disconnected with their partners consistently build their walls up.
3.Don’t Let Them Get Dry:
When you haven’t gotten to the point where you are sharing your secrets and vulnerabilities with someone, you cannot say that you have fully loved. Love is sharing. To love is to share. If they make you uncomfortable, then it needs re-evaluation.
4.You Grow Distant:
With love comes bond. You begin to find yourself growing more and more attached to the person, no day passes by without you talking. You grow closer as the days go by. Passion intensifies. But if the reverse is the case; you begin to grow tired of talking to them, they irritate you with every little move, then don’t force it.
5.Your Mind is Elsewhere:
Author of Magnetic Partners, Stephen Betchen states that “Partners who are in love tend to maintain a focus on their counterparts.” If your mind is not in the relationship, then it cannot thrive. If your mind is somewhere else, it will only be a matter of time before your heart follows suit.
Care is seen in little things like noticing minute things about your partner, eagerness to resolve conflicts, doing things that make them happy. But if you’re always avoiding sensitive conversations, could care less about them or what they liked, you also stop emphasising their value in your life.
6.You’ve Developed Anxiety:
It’s true, your emotions can affect your physical state and wellbeing. There might be something troubling you but you become too anxious to share because you don’t know how it’ll come off or how they’ll take it.
Psychologist K. Bylist Kleely and Doctor Ann Shiba both state that anxiety can show in these bodily dysfunctions such as trouble sleeping or digestive problems.
Love cannot and should not be forced.