Oftentimes, people wonder why people stay on in abusive relationships or relationships where they’re not being valued. Truth is, sometimes people don’t exactly understand what they’re going through until it’s too late. When you like someone, it’s easy to ignore warning signs even if you see them because like they say, love is blind.
Same thing applies to people who are in an immature relationship, they don’t realize they’re neck deep in something that’s draining them. In their defense though, it’s easy to miss these signs really, so we’ve put together 4 things to look out for that can help you figure out whether a relationship is mature or immature.
Mature people communicate, they set expectations straight and carry you along almost every step of the way. They’ll tell you if you did something wrong, why they did or are doing what they did or are doing, why they had to cancel, why they made a particular decision, what you did to upset them, why they don’t like certain things. Mature people talk things out.
They understand the importance of listening in a relationship, so they listen. Immature people on the other hand are very closed towards communication. They’re deficient when it comes to this. They don’t share, they don’t communicate, they’re the direct opposite of everything we just listed above. If for any reason someone did something to offend you, the ideal thing to do is bring it up to them, they might not even have known that they did something wrong.
Immature people don’t see things this way, they want people to figure out when they’ve offended them without them having to bring it up. But people aren’t spirits, you need to learn to draw people’s attention to the fact that they might have wronged you or could be doing something to offend you
So if you’re with someone who's constantly giving you silent treatment until you probe endlessly and pathetically before they finally, unwillingly say what the problem is, then you’re in an immature relationship and you need to talk things through and find a way to fix it if possible.
Mature people are a lot more understanding. They understand you’re busy when you say you are and don’t complain, immature people want 100% of your attention and if they don’t get it, they begin to rant and complain about it without pausing to understand your perspective. All that matters to them is their own perspective, their opinion.
Mature people want to settle their scores, they don’t like to carry grudges, personality aside. So If you somehow have a disagreement, they’d straight up bring it up and won’t let it affect what you share.
They don’t let issues drag unnecessarily, especially when it was their fault, because they understand the effect that this has on relationships. And for issues that are their fault, they’d own up and apologise for them. Immature people on the other hand let pride get the best of them. They’d rather kiss a frog than apologise. They’re ready to let pride ruin the relationship.
Constructive or not, immature people find it hard to take criticism. Not everyone is perfect, and not everyone would be courageous enough to give you proper feedback, so when someone finally is able to, you should welcome it and see how to evaluate and develop on it.
Mature people recognise this and do this, immature people don’t. They see your effort as a way to berate or bring them down, they consider it a hindrance.